Naughty Words, Wash Your Mouth

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Tourist Etiquette for Gringos Reloaded

So I have already discussed all the basic things to avoid as far as gringo tourists go. Now I want to go through a few more common things to avoid.

Let's start of with typical gringo attire for trips and expeditions. Let's say you make a trip to go to the Coba ruins, or Chichen Itza in Quintana Roo. Yes, it is in the jungle and it is hot, but you are not on an African safari from the 1980s, so leaver your safari outfit at home. I know you have one. Maybe you should even throw it away.

Image from Buy Something Sexy

When I first came to Mexico, the first thing everyone told me was 'don't drink the water, or you will get the shits'. Okay, it is true, you don't want to drink the water out of most faucets. However, being overly concerned with where your ice came from and where you water was bottled will only ruin your trip. Relax and enjoy yourself, just have a little bit of common sense. And always remember, no matter how tired, hungover or thirsty you are that morning you wake up after a night out, don't drink the water from the shower, trust me.

Food

Yes, Mexico DOES have more than tacos and quesadillas, however you can find them just about anywhere you go. Some of the best and authentic Mexican food is found on the street and it won't dent your wallet. The best places to go in the street are the places that are full, you know it is delicious and you know the food hasn't killed anyone. The best tacos, burgers, quesadillas and esquites I have had while staying here are from vendors on the streets so I would definitely recommend you step out of your regular restaurant routine and try it. You may just surprise yourself.

If you are looking for something a little different than Mexican food, you can find it here. In my neighborhood Roma, we have all kinds of different kinds of food. Within 5 blocks from where I live we have Lebanese, Chinese, Italian, Japanese, Greek, Thai, French, American, Mexican and a lot more. There is basically and kind of dish in Mexico you could ever want.

The seafood in Mexico is some of the best I have ever had. My favorite seafood here is the ceviche, and you can find it at most places that serve seafood. Ceviche is seafood, anything from octopus, shrimp, fish or crab. It's basically like a coctail with spiced peppers, tomato, cilantro, avocado and lime juice and it is delicious, if you haven't tried it I recommend that you do.

One thing that annoys me about eating out in Mexico and being gringa, is everyones concern for my stomach and the salsa. Everytime I go for the salsa, I have got some random person telling me to be careful because it is 'spicy'. Look I know you are only trying to help, but I have been eating salsa since the day I was born (well practically since my dad thought it would be funny to let me try jalapenos when I was a baby). I have a tongue and stomach of iron and love spicy foods, so when you tell me it is too spicy, I am just going to ask you for the spicier one.

Music

Mexican music is not all mariachis and banda. It is not all club music and Black Eyed Peas either, whom I cannot stand after spending two months in Playa del Carmen and hearing it 5 times every night we went out. Some of my favorite musicians and bands are from Mexico and the music ranges from anything you could imagine, indie, pop, rock, blues, rockabilly, orchestra, electronic, dance, salsa, reggae and more. Here is a list of some of my favorite artists from Mexico, and if you have not heard of them you should check them out.

Disco Ruido

Julieta Venegas 

Zoé

Cafe Tacuba

Juan Son

Juan Gabriel

Lupe Dalessio

Natalia Lafourcade

Plastilina Mosh

Soja

Instituto Mexicano del Sonido

(and yes for you gringos who don't know Spanish, there are artists from Mexico who have songs in English :) )

Drinks

Gringo's and their tequila, they just can't get enough. Well Mexico offers a lot more than quality tequila. There are a lot of good drinks in Mexico, not just Pina Coladas and Margheritas. One of my favorite drinks in Mexico is the Mezcal from Oaxaca. In my opinion it is a lot smoother than tequila and tastier. Micheladas are another one of my favorite drinks here. They are beer with lime juice, spicy chili, salt, and depending on where you go, they come topped of with candies, peppers or peanuts. The best Micheladas I have tried here are in the state of Morelos, they are the Michelada geniuses.

Image from Chimarro

One last thing I want to note for my fellow gringo travelers is the restrooms. In Mexico it is almost impossible to find a public restroom, let alone one that is free. When I first arrived I was not used to it at all because you can basically go to the bathroom anywhere in the US. So this sucked for me, especially when you are stuck in traffic for hours and can't find a place to go. So if you are planning a long road trip or just have bad luck and get stuck in traffic forever, wear your grown up diaper or bring a few pesos for 'el bano'. You don't want to be like me, stuck in traffic and frantically running around searching for an ATM so I can take out money to pay only 3 pesos for the nearest bathroom, that was not very near.

With that I hope my gringo tourists have a better idea about what to expect when they come to Mexico, and what not to wear and how not to act ;) Hopefully you will get a little more out of your trip now.

xoxo,

pinche gringa loca

You can also find me on Twitter @LaTortuturtle

Tourist Etiquette for Gringos

Mexico is not all sombreros, tacos, margheritas, and guacamole.

There is nothing worse for Mexicans and fellow travelers than a typical 'gringo' tourist. First things first, what the hell is a 'gringo'?! It sounds like something from the Outback. Technically a gringo is anyone in Mexico from the US.

According to several posts in urbandictionary.com, this was what 'gringo' meant:

1. A person from the USA.

2. A tourist in Mexico with the stereotype of northern European race.

3. In Mexico, common nickname to a person with pale skin, Brown or blond hair and blue/green eyes.

More can be found here, some posts were pretty creative and entertaining.

Now, as I see it, a typical gringo tourist stands out with this type of typical behavior or appearance:

-Gringos usually have a huge map in their hand, one that is unecessarily large. They also have other maps rolled up and sticking out of their fanny pack, yes I said fanny pack.

-Cargo shorts or swimming trunks, when you are not on the beach. it is one thing to wear your swim shorts around in Playa del Carmen or Acapulco, but in cities like DF or Guanajuato.. give me a break!

-Sandals, even when it is cold, raining or snowing.

-Socks under your sandals, I think that is just a 'no-no' from any standpoint.

-I want all my fellow gringos to know, that it is not necessary to make ridiculous poses in front of everything you see. No your not holding up the pyramid, and you are definitely not holding up the sun.

-The obnoxious tourist sombrero and poncho you bought in the tourist shop, well do you see anyone else wearing one? I didn't think so.

-Starbucks coffe and McDonalds in hand, save that for the US, try something new!

-Last but not least.. your metal detector. I guarantee you will not see anybody else with one, unless it is another gringo tourist just like yourself. You are not going to find any treasure in the beaches of Cancun, Cabo San Lucas or Puerto Vallarta. All you will likely find is someones forgotten beer can.

Image from CNN

Now for my Gringas

Ladies, ladies, ladies, sometimes you have to learn how to keep your tatas in your shirt, and your thong in your jeans once in a while. Not every place in Mexico is Cancun and not every week is Spring Break. You are giving all us gringas down here a bad reputation, so just work with me here and listen to some much needed advice!

Let me just start with the basics:

-You do not need to get on top of the bar at every club you go to just to get attention for the belly shot you are about to do.

-Are you a stripper in the US, no I didn't think so. You are probably a house wife, so you don't need to bring out your inner stripper here in Mexico.

-We don't want to see your thong hanging out of your jeans or your tits hanging out of your bra.

-You don't need to make out with every willing guy in the club.

-Not everyone who is sitting down wants a lap dance.

-Just because you have blonde hair and fake tits does not mean you are Britney Spears, so please stop shouting every song in the club at the top of your lungs.

Photo from Wikipedia

As far as the gringos go down here, a lof of Mexicans and other travelers thing in general that, well we are a bunch of cultureless idiots. We are all fat Americans, with our big houses, big cars and our small brains. Well obviously that is not true. Not all gringas open their legs and go home with everyone they meet, some, but not all. Not all gringos are uneducated, actually I would say most of us travel, read books, have culture and have open minds. Just like not all Mexicans are running around wearing sombreros, eating tacos and shouting 'arriba, arriba' all day and playing mariachi. Although, I would like to see that, at least once in my life.

So let's all work on our gringo tourist etiquette while we are in Mexico, let's improve our reputation and show everyone we aren't just a bunch of gold seeking, titty shaking Americans.

XOXO,

A Lost Gringa

Janitzio Smells Like Fish

Isla de Janitzio is located in the state of Michoacan, Mexico and is a little island in a big lake. To get to the island you have to take a shuttle boat. We got to the docks in the early evening and when we were getting our tickets we saw a group of drunk 'jovenes', young people, probably just turned 18. When we got on the boat we were the first people on, our boat was the Merida II and I am glad we didn't have to board the Titanic, let alone the Titanic II.  While we were waiting for everyone to board, the group of youngins came aboard. We wanted a romantic time alone on the island, well scratch that with all these kids here, getting crazy and playing kissing games. However, it did make me a little nostalgic and reminded me of when we played the same games when we were younger. By the end of the boat trip, we were making friends and taking photos for them, and I just wanted to drink with them and have a good time.

When we arrived on the island, I had just remembered that I had to finish my test for my online class, typical blonde behavior. Here we are on this amazing little island full of culture and new things, and I have to take my exam. Needless to say, my boyfriend and I were less than pleased. When I finished my test, which I aced by the way, we made our way up the crooked, narrow streets to the top of the island.



Walking up the streets in Janitzio.



When we arrived to the top, we decided that we owed ourselves some cool cervesas, Victoria is my favorite in Mexico. We walked over to the edge of a little cliff and looked over the entire island. While we were there a flock of what had to be thousands of birds migrating across the lake. It was really beautiful, even while we were dodging the bullets of bird shit that were raining down on us.

Here is a link of a video of the birds flying over us in Janitzio. The video was made by Chanfle Cerqueda for his 1000th tweet. Take a look below and follow him @ChanfleCerqueda on Twitter.





There was a giant statue and park on the top of the hill of Janitzio, and with my love for heights we decided to climb the statue. It may not look that high to you, but I guarantee you it is, especially for someone fearful of heights like my lovely boyfriend.

The statue of Jose Maria Morelos in Janitzio.

View of the sunset from the top of the staute.

Chanfle afraid to climb the rest of the stairs!

Swings in the park in Janitzio.

One of the best parts of Janitzio was trying the fish, or Kurucha Urhapiti. These fish are the main dish in Janitzio and they are caught in the lake that surrounds the little island. I had them as a snack on the street, they came fried and I added a little lime and hot sause. They were delicious, but my stomach disagreed with me later. Trying new things is one of the best parts about traveling.

The fish before they are cooked.

The fish before they were devoured.

All in all our trip was great, the island is small and one days trip is enough. We got to enjoy Janitzio, try new things, and meet new people. I would definitely recommend a trip there. The people are so nice and the atmosphere is great, the only thing is.. the place smells like fish, I am sure you can imagine why.

The docks while we were waiting to leave back to the mainland.

On the boat heading back, looking at Janitzio lit up in the night.

Thanks Janitzio,

A loving Gringa



Dirty Fingers in the Subway

Image from InterZone

One of my first experiences in the Metro in Mexico City was pretty, well let's just say different. I don't remember where I was heading or why because the experience I had just erased everything else. First of all, I have been on the subway in NYC, and the L in Chicago, and neither were as packed as the Metro in DF (Distrito Federal, Mexico City for you other gringos). We walked down the stairs and bought our tickets, and when I saw the train arrive, I had no idea how the hell I was going to fit.

Once I shoved my way onto the train, I made sure I had all my things in sight because I was literally ass to ass with everyone, mostly old men. The last thing I needed was someone stealing my things, then I wouldn't only be a gringa lost in DF, but a poor gringa lost on the Metro. My friend and I could not stop laughing because it was ridiculous, we were packed into this train like sardines, and it smelled a little like them too. I wasn't afraid, just smooshed, and then it happened.

Right as I was ready to shove everyone out of my way to get off on my stop, there it was... some random persons fingers, right in my ass.  Now I would assume it is normal for someone to maybe grab my ass on that jam packed subway full of old smelly men looking to get some hand action. But this was not your normal hello from behind. I was shoving my way through the people and two fingers went straight into my ass.

When I was off the train, I told my friend what had happend and he said, 'oh don't worry, it's completely normal here in Mexico'. I was shocked, I wondered if that is normal, what else is 'normal' here that is not normal at home. Now, my Spanish is far from perfect, as well as my friends' English so there was a little confusion. But, I went on through with the rest of the day assuming that my dirty finger incident was nothing more than normal, I mean I was in a different country and it was my first time on the Metro so what more should I think. I was told that was normal. Later on in the night I was still thinking about that moment and really couldn't believe it was normal so I asked my friend again, but this time I took the liberty of showing him exactly what I meant. In that moment, he looked at me and couldn't believe that is what happened, and we both started laughing more than we ever had in our lives. He told me that was far from normal and he has never had that happen to him or any of his friends on the Metro. Of course, only this gringa would get the pleasure of having some strangers' dirty fingers in her ass on her first ride in the Metro. I must say I do have all the luck here.

It may have been one of the strangest experiences I have had here in the Metro, but it was definitely one of the funniest. From then on, I always make sure my butt is facing someone I know or the wall, and I suggest that is what you do as well. ;)

Photo from OutreachWorld